Missing Fathers, Shifting Blame
It’s sad how people draw their guns on only women when paternity issues surface. The language hardens, the judgement quickens, and the other half of the equation disappears. But children do not arrive by monologue.
And we rarely ask the obvious questions. Do women cheat alone? When men pursue other men’s partners, what outcome do they expect? Do they imagine that biology will suspend itself, or that a moment can be borrowed without consequence? Why is outrage selective, and why is responsibility negotiable?
In many Nigerian communities, reputation travels faster than truth, and blame often arrives before evidence. Yet facts remain stubborn, and in this case, they stubbornly affirm that conception is never a solo act and that uncertainty is never born in isolation.
The conversation is often framed as if vigilance is a woman’s duty. It isn’t. A paternity test addresses paternity. The ones who generate paternity, and, by extension, its doubts, cannot outsource the burden of clarity. Normalising truth cannot be assigned to those who already carry its consequences in their bodies, their homes, and their daily negotiations with conscience and culture.
Any mismatched DNA result somewhere has a match somewhere else, and that match is with a man, not a woman.
Any mismatched DNA result somewhere has a match somewhere else, and that match is with a man, not a woman. Every hidden father is not an accident, but a postponed or abandoned decision. Where there is a disputed child, there is an undisputed man who chose silence over accountability. Biology is precise, but human honesty blurs the lines. A secret pregnancy may begin in private, but denied paternity is sustained by deliberate absenteeism from accountability.
Look more closely at the pattern. A woman may conceal, deflect, or even deceive, but she does so within a web partly spun by men’s choices. Men manoeuvre the pursuit, the encounter, the refusal to ask hard questions, and the convenience of walking away. The culture that excuses men’s excess while demanding women’s perfection creates the very conditions in which these crises multiply. When responsibility is uneven, outcomes will be distorted.
DNA Test mismatches are driven, sustained, and ultimately enabled by men.
Across homes everywhere, systems sustain silence where there should be speech, bravado where there should be restraint, and blame where there should be balance. The woman may carry the pregnancy, but men often hold the power to prevent the confusion and the courage to end it. To pretend otherwise is to treat symptoms while protecting the source.
If progress is truly the goal, then the questions must be redirected, and the burden realigned. Responsibility must be balanced, not selective. Truth must be mutual, not convenient. Because at its core, beyond the noise and the narratives, the uncomfortable reality remains that DNA Test mismatches are driven, sustained, and ultimately enabled by men.
- By Constant Ngozi Ozurumba, Founder, ManAnew Life Empowerment Foundation
Feature Image by PIRO from Pixabay / Inset Image by Gino Crescoli from Pixabay
